The Trailer Story

A while back I promised that I would explain the following (completely true) statement: I once fantasized about living in a trailer. Actually, this statement has been true at a number of points in my life.

When I was a kid, my grandparents had a travel trailer parked next to their house, and my brother, cousins and I would go out there to play. I’m pretty sure I wanted to live there.

The real fantasies kicked in when I was fifteen. I had lots of friends and even boyfriends during my (two) years in high school (Wondering why just two? Go back and check out this post), but I felt lonely most of the time. This was partly due to some family problems I didn’t want to talk about, but the roots of the situation were deeper. Although I seem outgoing to most people, in fact I’m very shy and self-conscious, and this was even more the case when I was younger.

Whenever I was around people, I felt horribly exposed and vulnerable, and no matter how nice or protective my friends were of me, I always feared that things could change in an instant. When I felt this way, I would imagine being married and living in a trailer. For some reason, this made me feel less afraid. I pictured myself reading books in this snug space. I imagined that a kind of belonging and peace would fill me there. I imagined being loved. I can see now that I imagined a magic trailer.

Lucky for me, I also had lots of academic ambitions, so I moved past this little fantasy and became more confident (slowly). I found love elsewhere, too.

Now, I don’t fantasize about living in a trailer, but I would love having one to write in. Author Laura Resau made me drool with this tour of the trailer she uses as her writing space. But let’s face it: I would only want to write in a trailer if I could have Laura come make it beatiful for me first.

There you have it: the trailer story.


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